Letter To My Future Self

I know you are scared. You have realised the thorough extent of your power and now you know who to expense it to wisely. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. So use the moment and continue pleasing your future self. You can make your own happiness and the only thing limiting you is your excuses. Nobody else is to blame for your mistakes, you made choices and they have effects. You should not hide away from accepting responsibility. You are intense and that will never change. You fell in love and it didn’t work out. You realised that you can recover from anything. You’ve worked so hard to get as far as you have, all the tears, internal death suffered, sleepless nights, anxiety and nervous breakdowns were worth it. Life responded to you and gave you much joy in return. You let no moment go to waste and you must be proud of this. You have no regrets and you would not change a single thing about the way your journey as manifested. You know that guilt and shame are a waste of time, and above all else, a waste of valuable energy. You have made some questionable choices for companions, but you have also met some incredible people who have taught you countless lessons. You are managing your fears. You realise the only thing obstructing you is fear of fear itself. There wasn’t a moment that you stopped believing, even when it got so tough that you couldn’t feed yourself, or you felt humiliated and used, you never stopped reminding yourself of your natural strength. You are okay with failures because you know the only failure is blaming others. You take responsibility for all your conscious and sub-consious actions and recognise that we live in an inter-world because subconsciously affect each other. In the face of humiliation, jealousy, betrayal, abandonment and shaming you never exaggerated your pain and you did not become the victim of life. You took all your struggle and transformed it into strength. Even though you depict a tough external position, you never stop believing in people on the inside, you remained hopeful even for those who have hurt you. You wish the best for everyone, even your enemy. Hate only takes one prisoner; the one who hates. You understand that all the negative energy is taking up the space which could be otherwise occupied by positive energy and thoughts. You know that it is much easier to be nice than it is to be mean. You wanted more than anything to be who you dreamed of being, successful and recognised, neither apologetic, nor submissive, nor piggy-backing of others ideas. You know that originality is priceless and rare. Dream big; but dream realistic. It is okay if you are institutionalised; mental slavery is unconscious. The conscious cannot be mentally enslaved. You can, and should use organisations to forefront your own goals. Don’t sell yourself short; any institution who has you is lucky to have such an intelligent, compassionate, inspiring and loyal person on their team. You are aware that it’s only human to love more than one person. You stopped using the validation of men to feed yourself; this must continue if you want to remain mentally healthy. Unequal love hurts you more than you want to admit. Don’t accept anything unless it is reciprocated; don’t say yes to anyone if it means saying no to yourself. By conquering yourself, you have conquered the entire universe. You must accept happiness in small doses, dopamine is an information system and the less you have; the less you need. The more you have; the greedier you will become in wanting more and more until there is no level of satisfaction attained. You can and have proved to be happy with the little things. Your life is only as good as your mind-set. You are made of tough stuff and things can only bother you as much as you let them; things draw strength from belief. It is okay to be scared. The future is scary because it’s so powerful. You made it this far already, why stop now?

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