There are 2 sets of people in the world. Those who use people as mirrors to ascertain their own emotions and those who project their emotions onto others.
You’ll know if you are a ‘projector’ if you have internalised insecurities including self-hate, anger, guilt, fear, shame and doubt.
Phycologists claim society is motivated by insecurities, you hating your own skin keeps the skin-care industry going, you self-medicating with pills sustains pharmaceutical corporations, basically thinking you are not enough supports the existence of you as a conformist, consumerist slave.
There are 5 questions to ask yourself to find out if you have internalised insecurities:
- What is my family of origin story?
Most of us have experienced some form of dysfunction in our families. Sometimes this spills over into our adult lives because we start acting out the chaos we experienced with our parents (who mostly bickered a lot). If all you’ve known is chaos, you will seek out volatile relationships because that is all you’ve ever known. Until you face the facts of what you are, you cannot change who you are. With compassion, go over your family history and see if you notice gaps, moments that disrupted your ‘innocence’ in childhood, arguments, fights, pain and fear. You are your experiences. Once you’ve found peace in your past, knowing that life is not happening to you; it is responding to you and that we attract what we are, the future will look brighter, more possibilities will arise because you have made the sub-mind conscious.
2. Do I have anger?
Anger is pain. You could harbouring anger over anything, your friend borrowed your clothes without returning them, or something more serious like anger from being raised without your biological parents. Anger can hit you at any time. How do you deal with it? Are there moments where your anger controls you? Are you harbouring resentment towards anybody? Do you wish ill upon others? I’m sure the Dalai Llama experiences anger from time to time, It’s an emotion that nobody is safe from. Your anger is crafty, it employs the use of the emotional mind to trick the rational mind into believing your own rationalisations. Feelings are self-justifying. If you are passive aggressive, you are letting feelings simmer and boil over you without releasing them. Read Frued’s defence mechanisms, there’s ways to use your anger productively (sublimation anyone?) so you’re not letting things fester inside of you.
3. Do I patiently engage with my own emotions?
Your emotions can bubble up inside you, but eventually they always find a way out. If you repress how you feel, all you’re really doing is imprinting these emotions onto your sub-conscious mind- which conditions your all your actions- and you will be sub-consciously acting out all your feelings (without knowing you are) so you’re basically living in delusion and you have no fucking idea.
4. Do I project my insecurities onto others?
The less we know about what is going on inside us, the less we engage with our own emotions through understanding and acceptance, the more we fuel our need to disassociate, dehumanise others and live in a constant survival battle with our egoistic selves.
If you cannot patiently engage with your self-dialouge, which manifests as your emotions, you cannot patiently engage with anybody else’s feelings. This makes you incapable of acting as an enlightened individual in society who defines themselves by how they they make others feel. Everything that irritates you about somebody else can lead you to your own fears. We project our own insecurities onto people because it’s easier than dealing with the real, raw emotion. We’re cowards basically.
For example, a short man with a Napoleon complex dislikes meeting tall guys, he convinces himself that he doesn’t like a tall man for some random reason, but sub-consciously he can’t stand the tall guy being a mirror for him, reminding him of his insecurity, but feelings are self-justifying so he tricks himself into believing that the tall guy hates him (the brain will do that to you).
5. Have I internalised self-hatred?
You’ll know if you have internalised self-hate if you can answer these simple questions: Do I like my choices? Do I like how my choices make me feel? Am I spending my life the way I want? If you’ve lived your whole life as a pawn of various external forces, your self is made up of all your experiences with the world, but what about the experiences with yourself? Your self-hate fuels the capitalist world, if you’ve had people projecting their emotions onto you your whole life (because you’re an empath, a sponge or whatever) you might have internalised self-hatred through energy-responsive dynamics. Prince was popular because he was unapologetic, he embraced his paradoxes. Don’t say yes to anybody if it means saying no to yourself. Start living your life on your own terms and you will notice that becoming your own best friend is the best way to befriend the voices in your head, even the bad ones. You’ll learn that freedom is being yourself without permission. Self-pity really is a one way road to nowhere.