29 Questions to Ask on a First Date: Fuck Small Talk:

1. What’s your favourite colour? Why? 2. When you see yellow at a traffic light, does it mean”stop” or “speed up”? 3. Is technology your best friend? 4. What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever dreamed? 5. Have you ever had a conversation with your ego? And if so, what did it say? 6. Do you…

How to Avoid Overthinking

There is a great Buddhist saying and it goes something like this “Man begins to worry because he worries that he has nothing to worry about”. Have you ever been totally happy or at peace and then begun to worry for no apparent reason? It is ridiculous to think that we create our own conflict in…

You, Yes, You! I See You.

If you go pretty long without anyone seeing you, you can start to really question if you exist. People need to be seen, heard, understood. Today I learnt that you can increase a premature baby’s chances of surviving simply by stroking the back of its head every couple of times a day. Touching is necessary for brain…

The Real Truth About Dutch Racism: Life as a Moroccan

Originally published at The Huffington Post If you ask the average Dutch person what they think about racism in the Netherlands, the usual answer is “We have no problem here!”. In Amsterdam where I’ve been living since 2015 over 150 different cultures reside together, rather harmonically. In Amsterdam the immigrant Turkish, Suriname, Antilles, Moroccans and…

The Case Of Vivian Maier: Why Eccentric Introverts Are Awesome

An example of Maier’s captivating street photography Originally published at The Huffington Post I recently came across a documentary film about a self-taught street photographer from the 1950s who died before realising how much fame her Rolleiflex twin lens camera would bring her. Vivian Maier shot over 100,00 photographs all while being a nanny and living a…

Letter To My Future Self

I know you are scared. You have realised the thorough extent of your power and now you know who to expense it to wisely. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. So use the moment and continue pleasing your future self. You can make your own happiness and the only thing limiting…

Perfect Dangerous Match: The Narcissist and Borderline

Enablers (super-givers) tend to be narcissists Narcissists enjoy the enabler role (fixing compulsion makes up for core deficit) Narcissists enjoy giving more than receiving Borderlines who also have a core deficit serve as the perfect unstable candidate for ‘rescuing’ by the enabler narcissist A Borderline is dysfunctional enough to seduce narcissist into “saving” her while both are essentially fooling each…

Perpetual Sadness Pt. 2

One day I received an email. It moved me. First, I was honoured that my post was received so well by someone who felt connected enough to open up to me. Secondly, I was shocked because I did not have an answer for my reader. The answer itself was baffling to me. I can now say with…

The Badass Woman’s Manifesto

Baddass Rule N1: Step forward. Don’t shrink back. The whole world wants you to quieten down, minimise yourself, be softer, more gentle, less demanding. Women are a powerful force and all the oppressors are aware of this. The boldest step you can take is showing that there is no force in the world strong enough…

What You Need To Know About Your Mind

  “So plant your own gardens and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers” — Jorge Luis Borges.  Thoughts are a beautiful thing. They are expressive, insightful and overall useful. Thoughts are also egoistical, anxious and fearful. My political psychology professor once described the brain as an electrical motor (running…

Sorry I Don’t Personally Care About the Illuminati..

  Too many times I have been involuntarily thrown into a discussion about the “Dark side” of humanity… dun dun dun.. it’s the illuminati! Well here’s my view: Yes. There are organisations and cults in the world that have economic and political sway causing mass power to remain in the hands of the few. You can…

Put Your Phone Away And Communicate! A Critique of Excessive Digital Use

Originally published at The Huffington Post There is a now a list of mobile phone disorders created by East Asian phycologists which includes physical and mental addictions to digital devices. There is even a “phone rehab” where people are sent to when they cannot control their addiction any longer. It is all too common to joke nowadays…